The Cost of Spirit: Why Sacred Work Deserves Sacred Exchange
by Virginia Underwood
Yesterday I overheard two people I love say, “If it’s helping someone, it shouldn’t cost anything.”
My chest tightened. I’ve lived inside that story. I’ve gone broke inside that story. And lately I’ve been untangling another one: that my value equals my income. That if the money isn’t flowing, I must not be valuable.
Both stories are lies.
My value is in the medicine I carry—born of years of study, initiations I invested in, and a life that trained me in the fire. And yes, money is one way—not the only way—that we honor and sustain the work.
If we want something different, we have to think differently. Here’s how we change the mindset—together.
New Agreements for Spiritual Exchange
1) Reciprocity, not charity.
This isn’t about “paying the healer so they don’t starve.” It’s about meeting sacred work with sacred regard. Reciprocity means both people leave more whole.
2) Payment is commitment, not purification.
Investing in yourself doesn’t make you “more spiritual.” It makes you more present. Money is simply one form of devotion: “I’m here. I’m in.”
3) Price ≠ worth.
My fees are not a judgment on anyone’s value—including mine. They’re a boundary that protects the work, my nervous system, and the longevity of this service.
4) Many altars of exchange.
Money is one altar. There are others: time, skill, amplification, referrals, prayer, materials. The point is right relationship, not one rigid form.
5) Generosity with structure.
True generosity has a container. Without it, the well runs dry. Structure (pricing, policies, limits) is how generosity survives.
6) Normalize asking, not assuming.
Instead of “It should be free,” try: “What are your options for sliding scale, sponsorship, or trade?” Curiosity keeps doors open. Assumptions slam them.
7) Community responsibility.
If you’ve been resourced by spiritual spaces, consider sponsoring someone else. We can’t demand free labor from practitioners and then be silent when others can’t afford access.
What This Looks Like in Practice
For Seekers / Clients
Before asking for a discount, ask yourself:
What is this work worth to me—in money, time, and attention?
How will I show up differently when I invest?
If money is tight, lead with respect and clarity:
“I feel deeply called to this work. My current budget is $X. Are there sliding-scale spots, a payment plan, or a way I can contribute through skills/referrals? I want to be in right relationship.”
Complete the circle after you receive: leave a review, share a referral, send a note about how the work impacted you, tithe back when you can.
For Practitioners
Post a Reciprocity Statement: what I offer, how exchange works, and what alternatives exist (sliding scale spots, sponsorships, limited work-trade that serves the work, not drains it).
Name the real costs (training, rent, time, admin, energy) so people understand the container.
Create a Community Fund: those who’ve benefited can contribute; those in need can apply—quietly, respectfully.
Protect the well: clear policies on cancellations, rescheduling, and energy boundaries.
Language Shifts (try these on)
From “It should be free” → “How do we honor this?”
From “I can’t afford it” → “Here’s my capacity; is there a path that keeps us in integrity?”
From “Must be nice to charge for spirit” → “Thank you for doing the inner and outer labor this work requires.”
My Personal Stand
I don’t measure my worth by my bank account anymore.
I measure it by my integrity, my devotion, and the transformations I witness.
And I charge because this work is real. It takes resource to hold it well.
I will continue to offer scholarships and sliding-scale spots within capacity.
I will not apologize for having prices, nor for protecting the well we all drink from.
If this challenges you, good. Sit with it. Ask what part of you is afraid to invest in your becoming—or afraid to be seen receiving. Then find a form of reciprocity that keeps you in the room with your growth.
Spirituality isn’t a hustle. It’s a holy exchange.
And in right relationship, everyone is nourished.
