Not Everyone Will Understand You—And That’s Okay

by Virginia Underwood

There’s a kind of ache that comes from being misunderstood. For much of my life, I’ve felt like I was speaking a different language—one that only a few people could truly hear.

I used to try so hard to explain myself. To be understood. To be gotten.

But the truth is: I’m not for everyone. And neither are you.

It’s taken me years to embrace that. To let go of the pressure to fit into someone else's version of who they think I should be. To stop twisting myself into something more digestible, less “too much,” less “too deep.”

I spent 20 years in a relationship where I don’t think I was ever truly seen. We’d have endless fights over the smallest things—because my words were taken in ways I never intended. My heart felt like it was speaking clearly, but it was met with filters, assumptions, projections.

That experience taught me so much. About clarity. About boundaries. About choosing relationships—romantic or otherwise—where mutual understanding is possible.

Now, I know that being misunderstood doesn't make me wrong. It doesn’t mean I need to dim or explain or perform.

It just means our frequencies aren’t aligned. And that’s okay.

If you’ve felt this too—like a lone wolf howling into a void—know this: your people are out there. The ones who do understand you. Who meet your energy with curiosity instead of judgment. Who feel like home when you speak your truth.

And until then? You can be home to yourself.