Service to Life vs. Service to Self: Reclaiming the Sacred Middle Path

by Virginia Underwood

In our modern world, the concept of “selfishness” has become warped and confused. We’re caught between two distorted poles—on one side, the belief that caring for ourselves is indulgent or wrong. On the other, a hyper-individualistic culture that teaches us to place our desires above all else.

Neither of these extremes brings us closer to truth. Neither brings us into union with Source, or in right relationship with life.

In many spiritual teachings—especially the Law of One—there is a distinction made between Service to Self and Service to Others. But I believe there is a deeper path still: Service to Life.

What Is Service to Self?

In this context, Service to Self isn’t about healthy boundaries, nourishing food, or rest. It’s not about self-honoring. It is the path of the ego—driven by fear, superiority, validation, and control. It can show up overtly in domination, manipulation, or greed—but more often it hides in plain sight.

It wears the mask of self-care.

It says:

• “I’m healing,” but really it’s chasing perfection.

• “I’m focusing on me,” but really it’s avoiding vulnerability.

• “I’m protecting my energy,” but really it’s closing the heart.

Service to Self can hide in:

• Spiritual superiority (“I’ve transcended that”)

• Constant consumption (the next retreat, training, or teacher)

• Self-isolation under the guise of sovereignty

• Using “boundaries” as a wall rather than a bridge

This isn’t true healing. It’s self-preservation masquerading as enlightenment.

What Is Service to Life?

Service to Life is a sacred middle path.

It’s the devotion to living in harmony—with ourselves, with others, and with the Earth. It doesn’t glorify martyrdom, and it doesn’t exalt the ego. It’s the path of remembering that we are part of the whole—and that when we are well, our communities thrive too.

It asks:

• What does love want to move through me?

• Am I living in a way that honors life, not just my comfort?

• Do my choices nourish both my soul and the collective?

Service to life means:

• Saying no with integrity so you can say yes from truth

• Caring for your body so you can be a clearer channel

• Healing not to be better—but to be more whole, more human

• Offering your gifts not from obligation, but from overflow

It’s not about looking spiritual. It’s about being available to life, fully and honestly.

A Personal Truth: I’ve Done Both

I know the terrain of Service to Self—because I’ve walked it.

I’ve chased healing as a way to feel enough. I’ve made my spirituality part of my identity. I’ve pulled away from others under the guise of “energy protection” when I was really just afraid to be seen.

And I know the ache of martyrdom. Of saying yes when I meant no. Of being the “good girl,” the helper, the healer—while secretly longing for someone to notice me.

Neither of those versions are free.

True service—to life, to Spirit, to Love—is not a role we play. It’s a relationship we tend. It’s a moment-by-moment remembering that I am not here to dominate or disappear. I am here to belong—to this Earth, this body, this breath, and this sacred web of life.

Service to Life is not glamorous. But it is liberating. And it is enough.

Let’s Reclaim the Middle Path

So let’s stop confusing self-honoring with selfishness.

Let’s stop mistaking self-neglect for service.

Let’s live in a way that nourishes the individual and the collective, where healing isn’t a performance but a prayer.

Because when we live in service to life… life moves through us.

I’d love to hear from you.

Have you experienced these distortions of self-care?
Have you swung between self-abandonment and spiritual self-focus?
What does Service to Life mean to you—right now, in this season of your becoming?

Feel free to share your story in the comments or send me a message. Your truth is welcome here.